# 88: INEFFABLE MIGHT!
I have to get through tonight.
Through mid-trepadarious forward assaults on the best of my iron vest incites.
My failure of amorous insight I like best,
The hole in the hollow, the pump that replaced the very black heart you stole from my mostly tumultuous chest. Mm-hmhm.
The pretend of a sigh, I know not the reason the rest of us feast while beyond citadel gates the rest of them die.
You have no idea how I try, when each time, each slight, each break of a promise of long life to come presides over the wisp of a hum!
After a long kiss good night and each missing delight.
Is the price I pay, I repeat what I say’ I slip not a single bit eager away, since your departure, wrong or for right
Grim departure into Moscow’s deepest ring roaded abyss, the spire of citadels cracking the rims of the night.
Did I get the last part of this parable right, the cold comes so quick and pulls blankets across over and under, unearthly so deathly, so white?
Was the price that I paid for surviving the run and gun into 30 decay; the brak and bray of the fire fisted fight?
All just a lie, a lie upon lie; a fuck upon a fuck of hardly giving anything since your flight back to Moscow my mind run amuck!
Know the palm of my hand, from the width of my spite. And the nose to the palm and the fist to the fall and dashing and lashing the fuck of if it all,
The spittle the bleeding the taking the needing of need, the needing the worst kind of slashing and misreading, the cut of my guts and drop of the floor .
I can’t take one more bit of this shit; the wanting and needing and lusting and ego size feeding the lies that I tell in the dark in the blood in the the spit.
I have written nothing of note in a fortnight, the sublime in a rhyme the taking and selling and trading of time. The wasting of me, taking all I had left of shadow of man with an blackness of soul, that hole in my chest and the tack of the toll.
The words that in hatch marks we chiseled on the the tree of life, cut into the fabric of magic unknown. We cut with a knife a most frivolous thing; a tantric phallus with fairies, with cantankerous birds and bare breasted women based on the porno graphs as a young man I was shown!
Warbler please, I balter blather bother as I beg you on my knees, as my own skin is a second hand cloth that I have no mastery of, daphnia grazing swans as stabbing eyes.
The tower lies. the science of lord of the flies. and the words they use the fish gut stench of reasons for the uncouth means their ways implies.
Dear one, citizen scientists playing along using flashier cars well-oiled sport teams ongoing efforts to pretend that they’re strong;
Hyper Development just setting in the death of man in the forest somewhere is a trumpet cacophony playing along.
I have to get through tonight.
A black breaded bite.
A bit from a stripper pop cake, or the glare of cattle do ambulance lights!
Exploding the quiet of poorly spent plight. I am sure that even my audience will agree I pick a most precarious fight?
How did i find a woman like you? A painted face pixie/ glowing indomitable spirit. A triumph of happy delight.
For my pain is leviathan. Swallows me Jonas like whole, the whole of the real the epic created the lies and masks and the anted up toll.
The world to me is mountain.
A treacherous fort on a series of hills.
At time my heart stops for a minute or two and escape I go from the physical plane; a gust of grey smoke; above the knives of the killers
The laugh of the joke;
the spies and their lies; the whores and the pills; the dagger men banking on newly spent kills!
With an ephemeral form; ineffable might.
I arrive in the future, a futuristical place; optimistically new: a futurist man remade in my vast powers of so endlessly loving the very most essense of you. (Adelina)
The sheer will of my love, you say what know me of love?
Its in my vertebral wires, the pumps and valves below and above; a flame driven of ebbing and tidying; expending reason, self abasing, or pleasing, it keeps sails on the good ship Adler aright;
The good ship takes flight:
With red balloon ballast; for the love of the goddess they’re calling a piece, I fly like a battalion of eagles, no goslings or geese! Get me out Sharkasa Waltham; take me back to your arms; take the thick of me deeply and thrust away all this pain give me back my Adelina, give me back my release!
Release to your arms, then everythings right; and out of the sickly black whiteness of my last winter’s long running night.
How did I come to be in this place. In this night. Despite all my lastingly brazenly brokenous promises made; most find my goodness of motive in fuck or in fight.
I chose this. You’re right.
No Waltham, no you. That’s what I know. That steel hand on your chest is a pledge that I’d love and support you through it all.
No matter how far. Or the places apart that we go.
No matter the heights.
Unlimited loving, but lately my powers are limited few; alone in this grim Shrakasa camp; staring at screens, talking in circles. Dreaming of you. When i look in a mirror I see a masked man; hiding his weakness, his murderous features a terrible blight.
What know me now of love. Perhaps you were always right.
What questions are these?
My face has been dashed. I’ve had current, a beating or two, my face has been water board splashed. Bleedings and squeeze.
You hate when I beg and you hate worse when I bellow; but if I can pray prostrate to the thing I call god;
I can beg the swifter return of the woman I love on my knees.
Black Gates of Ringed Roads..
Halve the bad lands in between! Moscow where is Moscow! I am blind and bleeding from the ghastly things I’ve read but also seen!
I’m going to cut my very timber eyes-hatchets out for falling fancy i have invalidated the thrusts of bulldog black intent.
Replicate in my countenance a bleaker predilection, vast pre tension boils over; guest workers four leaf clovers; borrowed money money poorly spent.
Click boots on black tarmac prospects covered in haggardly snows, my un sound and both unquiet mind plays ballads to your kind;
to flaunt all trepid interpretations of my base medical vocations, back hand to brackish bankers, my boots will crunch his jaw and leave all these business men coksure now cock less grind.
I will beat him palpy pale, I’ll kill your Thomas cop I’ll brutalize your vile builder Andre and stab his heart with dagger bursts rip apart his vicious tale. Thought you my poems pretty song? I’m a most violent violent nemsis to any motherfucker who has done my woman epic wrong !
Moscow where is Moscow its a place inside my mind; it’s a fortress its a mountain citadel, its a place I am kept from my only love and therefore it becomes a hell.
The deadness spreads inside me.
And the poems end but not my own is rightly neigh. I hate the thought of poetry, I like the thought of killing; killing myself to slaughter out the oligarchs and all your laundry list of vile, brutish guys.
I hate now the face of me!
I could kill ten thousand Europeans
burn out every sand of Europe’s soil
Its just a place to rape and shit and pee.
What people want they go to see! I try and tell them what to think more of perfect you and less of violent raging me. And you underestimate the violence that was done to those by Europe done to you and done to me. Done to mine and done to yours, I have fallen and am in drowning in my tears of madness dash my face upon the floors;
You left me here for Moscow, I am thus a dog a broken wolf and breathing smoke.
Hanged men hang for forty days before thieves decimate the corpses for the secrets in their cloak.
What near a life by proxim we.
Three continents apart is our manufactured destiny.
And you so fearless, you so noble, you so perfect and so true. Were the only thing that held be from these bastards back, of fear for me and more for you.
The Moscow spires and the snow fall, the oldness and the thrill. The vastness of separation is a poem not a kill.
The winds howl out and call for layers, my words mean nothing but effigies of deed and love between our warring peoples might seem ineffable, indeed.
I see you in my all my happy dreams, your thrilling beauty juxtaposed with my potential coming might. But for now like tragic Mayakovsky and his Tatiana;
I am red.
And you are white.